I posted this on my story yesterday, and appreciated the responses.
A year ago, I was going through what felt like a quarter life crisis. My normal zest for life was wavering, I felt like I had no energy or desire to do anything, and I was settling for breadcrumbs when it came to dating, sex, and where I was giving my attention.
It was a combination of a lot of things that snapped me out of it. It took grounding myself at an intense job, and facing a lot of fears around self expression. It took weekly therapy and learning to make the space within myself, enough.
Yesterday, I had been up 18 hours after being on call for a birth, photographing a birth space session, and editing all the photos that day. I used to not know how to process my own emotions after a long day like this, but at this time of my life, I do.
I called my sister, I texted a friend. I came back to tell my boyfriend about the day, he had made dinner, we laughed at how out of it I was, he listened to me talk about the day, but I quickly passed out next to him.
This morning, there was a Starbucks latte at my bedside, and he had made breakfast. The coffee would have been enough, and then he asked when I want to schedule a massage he bought.
I don't know what the point of this post is, other then: I spent a lot fo energy on people who weren’t stoked on me nor I on them. Once you figure out what you need and what you can give, everyone and everything is just an addition. And if you stop letting mediocrity fill that space, you’ll be surprised how good it can get.